I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize