honey bunches of taint.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
