I wish i was in the wii world.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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