OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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