I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
