it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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