I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
