bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
