do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
