are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
