They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
