no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
