Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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