then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
