Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
