i think my mom watched the whole time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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