...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am available for nakedness
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
