So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
