I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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