Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
