scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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