Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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