i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize