their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
