he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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