Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
