He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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