If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
