That's intense
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
