Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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