wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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