If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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