My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
