is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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