I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
