Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
