It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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