She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
