I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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