Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
