your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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