Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
