It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
