Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
