we have officially lost it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
