i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
