Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You can't motorboat a personality
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
