We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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