He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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