she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
where am i from again
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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