Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
