You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
