Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize