You're completely useless in the revolution.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
