I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
