omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
