im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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