My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
