Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
