I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize