I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
