nut hugger
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
