i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
