READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
