My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
