dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
