I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
