dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize