It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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