I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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