Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
