Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
