she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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