Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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