He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I will pee on everything he values.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
