Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish they made helmets for livers.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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