my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
